Character Education vs. Social-Emotional Learning: Why Kids Need Both for Whole Child Development

Discover how character education and SEL work together to support whole child development at home and in the classroom.

More Than Just “Be Good”

As parents and educators, we often say things like “Be kind,” “Tell the truth,” or “Be responsible.” But how often do we pause and consider what it really takes for a child to live those values — especially in the midst of big emotions, peer pressure, or everyday stress?

Knowing what’s right and having the skills to do what’s right are not the same.

This is where Character Education and Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) come in. When we give our children both:

• 🧠 Character education gives them the compass — what is right and why it matters.

• 💛 SEL gives them the tools — how to regulate, relate, reflect, and respond.

  
  

Together, they raise not only smarter kids, but kinder, more capable humans.

What Is Character Education?

Character education focuses on building core values that help guide decisions, actions, and relationships. These values include:

Respect                        Perseverance               Responsibility             Honesty                      

Courage                       Compassion                 Integrity                        Fairness

According to the U.S. Department of Education, character education is the intentional effort to develop good character based on universal values that are good for the individual and society (Lickona, 1991).

✅ It’s not just about rules.

It’s about helping children internalize values that shape how they treat others, how they treat themselves, and how they show up in the world — even when no one is watching.

Real-Life Example:

Think of a child who sees another student drop their lunch. Character education teaches them that helping others is the right thing to do. They have learned this from stories, discussions, role models, and classroom norms that promote kindness and empathy.

But what if they are having a hard day, feeling frustrated, or overwhelmed?

That’s where SEL steps in.

What Is Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)?

Social-emotional learning, often referred to as SEL, is the process through which children (and adults) learn to:

• Understand and manage emotions

• Set and achieve positive goals

• Feel and show empathy for others

• Establish and maintain positive relationships

• Make responsible decisions

  
  

These are the five core competencies identified by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL, 2023):

1. Self-awareness

2. Self-management

3. Social awareness

4. Relationship skills

5. Responsible decision-making

Real-Life Example:

A child who knows it’s right to be honest (thanks to character education) may still struggle to admit they broke a toy if they fear getting in trouble. But SEL helps them notice their fear, manage it with a calming strategy, and then choose to tell the truth with confidence and courage.

Why Kids Need Both Character Education and SEL

Some people see these two approaches as competing — but the truth is, they are complementary.

• Character tells them what to do.

• SEL gives them the tools to do it.

One without the other is like a compass without a map, or a toolbox without a purpose.

Character Without SEL:

Kids may know they should be kind or responsible, but struggle when overwhelmed by big emotions like anger, jealousy, or anxiety.

SEL Without Character:

Kids may learn how to calm down or communicate — but without a guiding sense of what is right, they may use those skills in manipulative or self-serving ways.

Together, they empower the whole child to act with purpose, clarity, and care — even when it’s hard.

📈 Evidence-Based Benefits

Research Says:

• A meta-analysis of 213 SEL programs found an 11% increase in academic achievement and significant improvements in behavior and emotional regulation (Durlak et al., 2011).

• Schools with strong character education programs report reduced bullying, better peer relationships, and improved school climate (Berkowitz & Bier, 2005).

• Children with both SEL skills and strong character foundations are more likely to thrive in college, career, and community life (Jones et al., 2015).

Benefits for Parents, Teachers, and Children

When homes and schools work together to nurture both character and SEL, everyone wins — families, classrooms, and communities.

❤️ For Parents:

• Fewer power struggles: Children who regulate emotions and understand expectations are more cooperative.

• Meaningful conversations: Feelings and values become part of everyday family life.

• Confidence in parenting: Parents feel reassured knowing their child is growing into a thoughtful, capable person.

🍎 For Teachers:

• Improved classroom culture: SEL and character development reduce disruptions and build a sense of belonging.

• Stronger student relationships: When kids trust their teacher, they feel safer and perform better academically.

• More purposeful teaching: Educators move from managing behavior to mentoring character.

🧸 For Children:

• Emotional resilience: They bounce back from stress or setbacks more easily.

• Healthier friendships: They learn to resolve conflict, share, and show empathy.

• Greater self-worth: They don’t just do the right thing — they begin to see themselves as someone who does.

How Teachers Can Support Both in the Classroom

Teachers are on the front lines of emotional and moral development. With just a few intentional shifts, they can integrate both SEL and character education into daily routines:

✨ Embed Values into the Day:

• Use morning meetings to talk about values like kindness, responsibility, or fairness.

• Highlight “teachable moments” when students demonstrate integrity or compassion.

• Recognize students for effort and ethical choices, not just academic achievement.

✨ Practice SEL Skills Routinely:

• Teach and model calming strategies (like deep breathing or mindful pauses).

• Use role-play or stories to explore how characters manage emotions and relationships.

• Encourage “I feel” statements and respectful listening during conflict resolution.

✨ Partner with Parents:

• Share class themes (like empathy or perseverance) through newsletters or handouts.

• Invite families to contribute stories or examples of values at home.

• Send home SEL tools or reflection prompts kids can practice outside the classroom.

Even small actions, done consistently, shape how students grow — not just academically, but as whole people.

How Parents Can Support Both at Home

You don’t need a curriculum to start this work. Small, intentional moments are the heartbeat of character and SEL growth.

Simple Ways to Support Character Education:

• Tell stories (books, real life, or your own childhood) that highlight courage, honesty, and compassion.

• Celebrate values: “That was really responsible of you to clean up without being asked!”

• Reflect on choices together: “How did that choice affect your friend?”

Simple Ways to Support SEL:

• Name emotions regularly: “You look frustrated — do you want to take a break?”

• Practice calming strategies together like breathing, stretching, or drawing.

• Model emotional honesty: “I felt overwhelmed earlier, so I took a few deep breaths.”

🛠️ Tools You Can Use

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or both — there are helpful resources available to strengthen both areas:

• Books like When Anger Strikes: Ema’s Steps to Staying in Control teach kids how to recognize and manage emotions while reinforcing character.

• Visual aids such as Mood Meters, Affirmation Cards, and Scenario Decks for home or classroom use.

• Workshops & printables that combine character themes (like loyalty, kindness, courage) with SEL techniques like breathing, journaling, and guided reflections.

Check out our resource (shop) and trainings in our website

Building a Better Future, One Heart at a Time 🌎

At Inspire, Guide & Nurture, we believe that education is about more than academics — it’s about shaping the heart, nurturing the mind, and guiding the whole child.

By embracing both character education and social-emotional learning, we are not just teaching our kids how to behave — we are empowering them to lead with love, live with purpose, and navigate life with strength and grace.

Final Takeaway

In a world that often prioritizes performance over people, our children need more than grades and rules. They need tools for emotional strength, and a compass to guide them.

When we give them both — character + SEL —

we raise humans who not only know what’s right, but do what’s right.

🧠 + 💛 = Whole Child Learning

And that’s the kind of education that lasts a lifetime.