Helping Kids Navigate New Friendships (and Handle the Tricky Ones)

Learn how to help children make friends at school, build social-emotional skills, and handle tricky friendships with confidence. Discover SEL strategies, empathy lessons, and conflict resolution activities for kids to nurture healthy, lasting connections

Friendships are the heartbeat of childhood. From sharing snacks at lunch to building forts in the backyard, the bonds children create with peers shape their sense of belonging, identity, and confidence. But as any parent or teacher knows, friendships can be both joyful and tricky. Kids may struggle to make friends at school, face conflicts with old ones, or feel unsure about how to handle hurtful behavior.

Supporting kids in building social skills and navigating tricky friendships is one of the greatest gifts adults can give them. With guidance, children can grow into empathetic, confident, and resilient individuals who thrive in relationships throughout their lives.

Why Friendships Matter for Kids

Friendships aren’t just about having fun—they are central to children’s development. Research shows that kids who feel connected to their peers experience stronger emotional health, better academic performance, and higher self-esteem. Friendships also act as a “practice ground” for life, teaching children essential social-emotional learning (SEL) skills such as sharing, compromise, empathy, and problem-solving.

When a child has a friend to laugh with, lean on, or sit beside in the cafeteria, their stress levels decrease and their confidence increases. Strong friendships also serve as protective factors, reducing the likelihood of bullying and improving resilience.

Friendships are also a powerful way for kids to practice emotional intelligence. When children face conflict—such as sharing toys or disagreeing about rules of a game—they learn to manage big feelings in a safe space. These moments, though sometimes uncomfortable, are valuable opportunities for growth.

The Challenges of New Friendships

While friendships bring joy, they can also feel intimidating—especially when kids are faced with the unknown. For many children, making friends isn’t automatic; it’s a skill that needs practice, reassurance, and sometimes a little coaching.

Shyness and Social Anxiety

Some children find it hard to take the first step toward making a friend. Shy or introverted kids may feel nervous about starting conversations or joining a group. They might hang back on the playground, unsure of what to say, or worry that they’ll be rejected if they try. Parents often ask: “How do I help my child make friends at school?”

One strategy is to role-play common scenarios at home. For example, practice simple phrases like:

• “Hi, can I play too?”

• “Do you want to sit with me at lunch?”

• “I like your drawing. Can you show me how you did that?”

These social “scripts” give shy kids the confidence to approach peers. Teachers can also provide scaffolding by pairing shy children with kind, outgoing classmates for small group activities. Over time, repeated positive experiences build social confidence and reduce anxiety.

Cultural and Language Differences

In today’s diverse classrooms, kids may face challenges connecting with peers from different cultural or linguistic backgrounds. A child who speaks English as a second language might feel left out of conversations, while another may worry about cultural traditions being misunderstood.

This is where schools and families can shine. Parents can encourage curiosity by teaching their children to ask respectful questions: “What games do you like to play?” or “What holidays does your family celebrate?” Teachers can highlight cultural diversity through read-alouds, art projects, or “heritage days” where kids share foods, songs, or traditions from their families.

These small actions help children see cultural and language differences not as barriers, but as opportunities to practice kindness and empathy. Kids quickly learn that friendships are enriched, not limited, by diversity.

Adjusting to New Environments

Starting at a new school or moving to a new neighborhood can feel overwhelming. Children may worry: “Will anyone play with me?” or “What if I don’t know the rules?”

Parents can ease this transition by arranging one-on-one playdates with potential classmates before school starts, or by visiting the playground where neighborhood kids gather. Teachers can assign classroom “buddies” to welcome newcomers, explain routines, and sit with them at lunch.

At home, parents can validate their child’s worries—“It’s normal to feel nervous about new friends”—while also reminding them of past successes: “Remember when you switched soccer teams last year and met great teammates? You can do this again.”

By normalizing the anxiety and providing gradual opportunities to connect, adults help children adjust to new environments with confidence.

Tricky Friendships

Not all friendships are healthy. Sometimes kids encounter peers who are bossy, exclusionary, or unkind. These “tricky friendships” can test a child’s ability to set boundaries and practice conflict resolution skills.

For instance, a child may have a friend who always insists on choosing the game, or who excludes them when a new peer comes along. These situations can be painful but valuable. With guidance, children can learn to say, “I want a turn to pick too” or “It hurts my feelings when you leave me out.”

Adults should watch for patterns. A one-time disagreement is normal, but repeated exclusion or manipulation may signal an unhealthy dynamic. Helping kids recognize red flags early teaches them that true friends respect boundaries and treat each other kindly.

How Parents & Teachers Can Support Healthy Friendships

Children don’t automatically know how to build or maintain friendships. Like reading or riding a bike, it’s a skill they must learn. Adults play a critical role in guiding social skills for kids.

Model Empathy and Respect

Kids learn by watching. When parents and teachers demonstrate kindness, active listening, and respect, children mirror these behaviors. A parent who says, “I’m sorry I snapped earlier; I was frustrated” teaches humility and repair. A teacher who thanks students for their input models respect. These everyday actions show kids that relationships are built on empathy.

Teach Social Scripts and “I Feel” Statements

Children often need concrete tools to navigate emotions. Teaching them to use SEL strategies like:

• “I feel upset when you grab the toy.”

• “I feel left out when you don’t call on me.”

…helps them express emotions without blaming. This builds emotional intelligence in children and keeps friendships intact. Teachers can display sentence starters on posters or SEL cards so kids have easy reminders in the classroom.

Encourage Teamwork and Cooperative Play

Friendship activities for kids—such as building a Lego structure together, creating a group mural, or playing team relay games—allow children to practice cooperation, turn-taking, and compromise. Parents can create “family challenges” (like baking together) that mirror teamwork skills, while teachers can structure projects so every child has a role. These experiences build the foundation for trust and collaboration.

Role-Play Conflict Scenarios

Conflict is inevitable, so preparing kids through conflict resolution activities for kids is powerful. Parents might act out: “Two kids both want the same swing—what can they do?” Teachers can use puppets or skits to model problem-solving. When kids practice solutions in a safe environment, they’re more confident handling real disagreements.

Support but Don’t Over-Solve

It’s tempting to rescue children from friendship struggles, but stepping in too quickly robs them of problem-solving practice. Instead, guide with open-ended questions:

• “What do you think you could say to your friend?”

• “How might your friend feel right now?”

• “What’s a way you could solve this together?”

By coaching rather than controlling, adults empower children to trust their own judgment and strengthen their social-emotional learning skills.

Helping Kids Handle Tricky Friendships

Even with support, kids will encounter difficult situations. These moments, while challenging, often teach the most valuable lessons about respect, boundaries, and resilience.

Recognizing Red Flags

Children need help distinguishing between normal conflict and unhealthy dynamics. Signs of a tricky friendship include always feeling anxious around a friend, being excluded often, or feeling pressured to do things they don’t want to. Adults can teach reflection questions like: “Do I feel happy after spending time with this friend?” or “Does this friend treat me kindly most of the time?”

When to Step Back vs. Step In

Minor disagreements—like arguments over rules of a game—are natural learning opportunities. But consistent exclusion, manipulation, or bullying require adult intervention. Teachers should observe patterns, and parents should keep communication open by asking, “How did recess go today? Who did you play with?”

Building Assertiveness and Boundaries

Kids need scripts to set boundaries with confidence. Teaching them to say, “I don’t like when you do that—please stop” or “That’s not fair; let’s try again” equips them with tools for self-advocacy. Parents can role-play these phrases, and teachers can encourage students to practice in low-stakes scenarios.

Turning Conflict into Growth Opportunities

Conflict doesn’t have to end friendships; it can strengthen them. Teaching conflict resolution for kids means showing them how to repair relationships after disagreements. For example:

• Apologizing sincerely.

• Offering to try again.

• Asking, “How can we make this fair for both of us?”

When children learn that friendships can bounce back from conflict, they gain resilience and trust.

Friendship Tools & Everyday Strategies

Here are practical, everyday strategies that strengthen social-emotional skills at home and school:

• Friendship Journals – Encourage kids to draw or write about their friendships—what went well, what felt tricky, and what they’re grateful for.

• Friendship Books – Stories like Enemy Pie or The Day You Begin provide natural openings for conversations about friendship struggles and empathy.

• SEL Activities for Home and School – Use emotion wheels, breathing exercises, or “I feel” cards as daily check-ins.

• Social Skills Games for Children – Cooperative board games, charades, or group puzzles teach turn-taking, compromise, and perspective-taking.

• Family Role-Play Nights – Turn scenarios (like sharing toys or handling disagreements) into playful practice sessions. Kids love pretending, and these safe rehearsals build real-life skills.

Final Thought

Helping kids make and keep friends is about more than play—it’s about building the social-emotional skills they’ll need for life. When children learn to approach peers with confidence, resolve conflicts peacefully, and set healthy boundaries, they’re not just learning “kid skills.” They’re developing lifelong relationship skills that will serve them as teenagers, adults, and future leaders.

Friendships in childhood teach empathy, patience, forgiveness, and respect. They show children that it’s okay to be different, that conflicts can be solved, and that kindness always matters. These are the same qualities that help adults navigate workplaces, marriages, and communities.

So when you guide a child through making a new friend or handling a tricky one, you’re doing more than easing playground worries—you’re laying the foundation for a compassionate, resilient future. The goal isn’t perfect friendships—it’s raising children who know how to build healthy, kind, and lasting connections.